Seven Lesbians are Not Enough by Michele O'Mara, LCSW She's bright, funny, attractive, interesting, and she's honest, too. Wracking her brain to understand what is wrong with her, Jess explains, "I've been single for over a year now, and I just don't know what the problem is." How many lesbians have you met in the last year?" I asked her. "Hmmm," she thought. "I would say about seven," she decided. So I asked her, "Of those seven, how many were single?" "Oh gosh," she thought out loud, "I'd say half of them," then qualifying, "but two of them were distraught about a recent break-up." "And of those four remaining potential partners, how many were you attracted to?" I queried. Without hesitation she said, "uh, none." "Obviously," I replied, " Seven lesbians are not enough!" For many gay men and lesbians, dating is a little bit like finding a straw colored piece of yarn in a large haystack. It's not easy. It's a lot like playing hide-and-seek. Many single gay men and women are actively "hiding" their selves and their orientations from the world, while they are desperately hoping that someone, somehow, will find them. Finding potential dates or mates involves more effort than it does for heterosexuals because of our sheer invisibility. We are all assumed heterosexual (well, not all - but most of us) until proven otherwise. So to increase your odds of finding a potential partner, you will have to work a little harder than the average heterosexual will. Become more visible. The more visible you are, the more open you are about your sexual orientation, the more likely someone is going to find you! Go where the gay men and women are likely to be. In larger cities this includes bars, social gathers and events sponsored by community organizations. For Indiana lesbians come to my Relationship Studio