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Michele
O'Mara, LCSW
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Possibilities
(2 of 5)
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January
2004 |
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Greetings!
In the last newsletter I introduced the five part series
titled "The
Possibilities of You." In this series I will be
addressing the five major dimensions of life (physical,
intellectual, emotional, social, and spiritual). These separate
but related dimensions combine in unique ways to create who we
are and what we are about.
Last
Newsletter I covered dimension one, our physical self. Today
we are going to move into dimension two, our intellectual self.
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"The
significant problems we face con not be solved
at the
same
level of thinking we were at when we created
them."
~
Albert Einstein
Much like our physical bodies, we must also
exercise our minds. There are studies that
demonstrate the impact of continued learning in
senior adults. Those who read regularly and
stimulate their minds continue to have better
memories and greater intellectual capacity than
their peers who do not. We live in a culture
that invites laziness, that encourages
mind-numbing, or mind-distracting activities
such as watching television, playing video
games, or listening to music. Although none of
these activities are inherently detrimental to
us in small doses, they are incredibly toxic to
our mind when we engage in these activities at
the expense of other, more stimulating and mind-
enhancing activities such as reading,
problem-solving, meditating, creative projects,
development of hobbies and new activities that
require learning and challenge.
To
Read Article One, The Possibilities of You
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| Event
+ Thought = Behavior
How we view the events of our life is a cognitive
process that results in emotional feelings. When
"A" happens, we think "B" about it
and the outcome "C" is a result of how we
think about that which happened. We can subordinate
feelings to values, meaning, we can allow our values, or
our hoped for outcome to override our emotional response
so that we may reach our end goal. Often, it is our
reaction to events that creates the greatest challenges
for us, not the event itself.
For example, if I am frustrated by the way I am
treated by my boss at work there are many ways I can
respond. If I choose to respond by being difficult to
work with and expressing an attitude on the job I am
likely to worsen my situation by giving my boss more
reason to respond to me in ways that I do not like. In
this situation I have effectively worsened my situation
through my own behaviors, and perpetuated that which I
claim I want to be better. It is how we think about and
respond to life's situations that guides us, not what we
are faced with.
What is a situation you are currently frustrated
with? Are your responses adding to the problems
you currently face, or are your behaviors helping to
minimize the issue or dilemma?
If you don't know
you have choices or don't believe you have choices,
you don't.
~
Paul, Lunden, Christensen
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Invent
Meaning That Works
"Inventing a new
interpretation is the simplest way to transform
something negative into something positive. Everything
that occurs in our world is an objective event. It has
no inherent meaning. Each of us sees the world through
different lenses, so each of us will perceive a
particular incident differently. It's our perceptions
and our interpretations that affect our emotions not the
incident itself."
~ Debbie Ford
Everything we experience in life goes through our
personal filter which assigns meaning to each event.
Because we invent the meaning for all of our
experiences, we are in charge of creating meaning that
serves us well or meaning that holds us back. Given the
choice, it makes the most sense to begin creating
meanings for the events in our life in ways that work
with and for us, rather than against us.
Take All of
The Responsibility You Can!
"Unpleasant
facts don't go away simply because we stop
paying conscious attention to them.
Denial is effectively a form of
disengagement: It
means shutting down a part of ourselves."
~ Jim Loehr and Tony
Schwartz
"The
hardest words to own are always related to
incidents where we feel someone has wronged us.
Our egos resist owning characteristics
that would make us give up blaming someone else
for the condition of our life."
~ Debbie Ford
I believe the single greatest
life- changing action you can take is to assume
responsibility for everything that happens to you in
your life when you become an adult and have the
power to care for yourself. How you view your
situation, and your ability to take responsibility
for your part, is critical to self-care and personal
wellness. Taking
complete responsibility for our lives involves the
process of accepting that all of the choices we make
open us to various consequences that are often times
unpredictable. Some consequences are out of
our control, others are not. In the end,
however, that we made the choice we did, or engaged
in the behaviors we did, renders us undeniably
responsible for our outcomes. For example, if
I choose to get in my car and go for a drive I am
consenting to the reality that there are other
drivers on the road that I can not control.
How they choose to drive their cars is not within my
control, however, I am directly affected by other
drivers when I choose to get in my car and join them
on the road. If, by chance, my car is struck
by another driver - and I have followed all of the
rules of the road, it is not my "fault"
that I was in an accident, however, it is my
responsibility because I chose to get on the road
with full knowledge of the risks associated with
driving.
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For this month, I encourage you to think of one thing that you
can begin doing today that will increase your intellectual
potential. Are you willing to commit to doing this, starting
today? Maybe it is as simple as watching less television,
reading the newspaper, being aware of the choices you make and
taking more responsibility for the outcome. This month, nourish
yourself with a commitment to improve your mind. Begin flexing
those intellectual muscles today. Remember, there is no greater
resource that you will ever have than your very self. Be sure to
explore all of the possibilities of experiencing the highest
form of who you are and who you can be.
Stay tuned for next newsletter, I will be discussing
dimension three, our emotional self and possibilities.
Happy New Year!
Michele O'Mara, LCSW
Fitness of Health and Spirit Newsletter
email: omaram@aol.com
voice: 317.209.1261
web: http://www.omaracounseling.com
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