Happy New Year!

January is a month of renewal. Resolutions abound. Goals are set. We are putting things in focus, and creating our vision for the year. With such fertile grounds for personal growth, I wanted to capitalize on the strength that comes from this sort of renewal before it passes into just another year that sneaks by while we are sleeping.

For this newsletter, I decided to ponder the question, "What is the single greatest thing we can do to improve our life?" The answer was surprisingly clear to me. Live our truths. That's all. Live our truths.

I found myself focusing on all of the ways we work to deny, hide, and diminish ourselves so as not to make others uncomfortable, or worse yet, disappointed in us. I don't know about you, but I think it's high time that we begin to treat ourselves with the respect that we hope to experience from others. There's room for all of us, we just have to find it and claim it for ourselves.

Do you treat yourself as you would like others to treat you? Or are you in fact teaching them how to mistreat you?

Like any good lesbian, Jen was innocently strolling the aisles of Target one Sunday afternoon with her partner Sally, when they ran into her co-worker, John. Jen says, "Hey John. How are you?" "Great," he replies while looking at Sally with curiosity. On cue, Jen says, "Oh, John, this is my friend Sally." He doesn't notice Sally cringing. She's mastered the art of deception. She smiles politely as she always does in these situations and simply says, "Nice to meet you."  

What John doesn't know is that Sally is Jen's life partner. You see, Sally and Jen have been together 5 years now and aside from a few close gay friends, no one knows about their relationship. Like many gay men and women, Jen has worked hard to convince herself that this is the best decision because, she says...·

• "I don't need to advertise my relationship."
• "It's nobody's business who I sleep with."
• "My brother didn't come out as a heterosexual. Why should I have to come out as gay?"
• "I think it would kill my parents if they knew. Why cause them the pain?"
• "I don't need to rub it in anyone's face. What I am is of no concern to others."

Monday at work, John doesn't waste any time tracking down Jen to ask if she thinks Sally would go out with him. It is in this moment that Jen begins to feel the consequences of her choice to make her relationship invisible. (keep reading)

If you are a massage therapist, gay (or gay friendly) and interested in working with O'Mara and Associates, please contact me at michele@micheleomara.com

For those of you who have never IM'd before, it is an on-line process of communicating real-time via a confidential exchange of text messages from my computer to yours. The software to do this is free and accessible online. Anyone with a computer and an internet connection has access to IM services.

If you are interested in group, individual or family therapy for your child contact her today. A sliding scale is available.

Wishing you a safe and happy journey into your truth. And warmest wishes to everyone for a most wonderful year!

Warmly,