•

mistakes are accepted and learned from

•

willingness to take risks and be vulnerable

•

other meaningful relationships and interests exist

•

each can enjoy being alone and privacy is respected

•

personal growth, change and exploration is encouraged

•

continuity and consistency is present in the commitment

•

balance of oneness [closeness] and separation from each other

•

each takes responsibility for their own behaviors and happiness [not blaming each other]

SUGGESTION FOR USE: Print this out. Have each partner complete the survey separately. Compare your answers. Then, make a list of all of the items that neither of you checked. Discuss the importance of these characteristics. If there are several, and you feel they are important, discuss how you can work toward achieving these goals.   If you struggle to communicate, or can not agree on important characteristics of a healthy relationship you may consider counseling.

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